I’m going to play pity-party for just a bit, so please bear with me. I’ve been struggling lately, still struggling… we struggle everyday, don’t we? Lots of struggles.
I’ve been struggling with time management, too much on my plate, too much going on… there are days when I would love to write just one page of even just notes for the Godstellations Bible study, but I get so busy with everything pulling for my attention that I realize it’s lunch-time, and I haven’t even brushed my teeth for the day yet. Wish I could say that was an exaggeration. 🙂
Full-time job from home, semi-homesteading, homeschooling, homekeeping… lots of pieces of home needing my attention. There are days when it feels like I’m drowning, and those are the days I have to stop and remind myself that I prayed for this for so many years… I prayed to be home with my kids and provide for my family, and God heard my prayer and answered after six years of praying. Those are the days I hang my head and ask Him for forgiveness for not realizing what I have and being grateful.
And we all reach that point, don’t we? We sit surrounded by so much more than others have, but we lose sight of it sometimes.
As I reach the point where I hit my knees to say I’m sorry for allowing myself to be overwhelmed and missing the times to be thankful for what He has provided, I picture Him looking down on me with this grin and shaking His head at me as He says, “Oh, Jen honey, I know you’re thankful even when you don’t. I saw your heart when you asked for these things, and I see your heart now.”
He grins and shakes His head at me a lot. I’m quite certain of this.
This morning I read David’s words in Psalms where his life was being threatened, and He cried out to God to hear him and save him. He was hiding from those who literally wanted to take his life and was crying out to God for help.
And God heard him and saved him.
I was facing a window on the east side of our house this morning as I read those words. I had already been outside to see the bottom of the clouds turning all rosy pink as the sun started to rise, but as I sat in my chair facing east, the sun started to rise above the trees and fill the room with light just as it was filling the earth with light.
We planted these sunflowers from tiny seeds which have grown into these beautiful flowers. The buds faced that beautiful sun each morning then turned as it rose high into the sky to face west at the end of the day. They kept their face to the sun and it helped them grow and bloom into these beauties.
As I watched the sun fill the world with light, (well, except for where it’s not day yet) it literally hit me in the face… my God is doing that.
the same God that grins at me and shakes His head at His silly daughter
the same God that heard my prayers six years ago just as He heard my prayer this morning for focus
the same God that heard David as he cried in the wilderness
the same God that fills the earth with light
the same God that sent His son to die
He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Great and mighty to fill the earth with light and cause flowers to bloom, yet meek and lowly as He hears the cry of my heart when I walk with Him in the dew of the morning. So even with all the struggles that are still coming today and will come tomorrow, I’ll face them like the sunflower bud. I’ll keep my face to the Son, and I’ll bloom.
Follow the Light.